Leading a simple family life doesn’t mean you don’t do anything.
There are always things to be done.
Running a home can be incredibly involved and time-consuming. Now as one who is very conscious of how time is spent, I’m always looking for ways to make laborious tasks more efficient.
“Time is what we want most,but what we use worst.” – William Penn 1644-1718
In order to improve how I use my time, I have found that transferring certain office/work principles to the home have helped. Increasingly I’ve discovered improving communication within the household can save a lot of time!
In Fridays post I mentioned we hold a House Meeting at Chez Wright. If there is one recommendation I can make to a family who feels they are wasting valuable time or that communication could be improved, it would be to diarise a weekly house meeting.
Whenever I talk to people who are having issues in the workplace, my first question is always ‘Do you all sit down together once a week, as a team?’.
Why would it be any different at home?
We all have roles within the home. We may all be in the same building for certain parts of the day or week, but we have different priorities and commitments. We don’t necessarily vocalise those priorities and commitments, and I’m pretty sure that telepathic families are few and far between.
It may seem a highly formal process, but really just sitting down together for 30 minutes a week can improve efficiency and communication greatly.
Fancy trying it out? Here’s how we do it – The Wright’s Weekly House Meeting:
- Formally set a time to meet. We do it via our electronic calendars and co-ordinate. Although as one who has recently come round to the massive benefits of getting in a weekly routine, we try to do it on the same day at the same time if we can, rather than having to keep making a new decision as to when it suits!
- Thought is given in advance as to what needs discussing, rather than eating into the 30 minutes set aside to communicate. We come to the table prepared.
- Talking of tables, we sit at a table to have the meeting, as you would typically do in the office. Across from one another, no distractions such as TV!
- We have folders! 😉 I have a zip folder with any bits and pieces in required, flyers, notes, school letters. Along with my daybook (more on that in another post).
(I’m such a messy note-taker. But it makes sense to me. And I love to doodle!)
- Notes (aka minutes) are taken. The meeting is scribed. Any actions required are allocated with a date attached. Sounds very formal, but this is how the workplace would operate. It focuses energy and effort and prioritizes time.
- I write down any actions assigned to me onto my separate monthly planner. I don’t put the Hubby’s on there. Tasks have been delegated, and its our responsibility to get them done. We trust each other to do what we need to, to keep the home ticking over.
- Try to finish on a positive note. Our last meeting concluded with the initial selection of a possible location for our next family trip.
- Don’t use the meeting to proportion blame for things that aren’t going to plan. Remember you’re in this together, whatever shape or form your family takes, you are a team!
That’s it in a nutshell. Currently the Kids do not attend as they are too young, but due to the amount of time I spend with them I know whether they have anything to include. As they get older we’ll adapt the meeting to involve them, even if only for a portion of it.
I’d love to hear how you do it?
**As an aside, I posted last week about how to Just Do It. I wrote ‘Read. Absolutely anything.’. Interestingly, whilst writing this post, I stumbled upon a quote by Jarod Kintz. This is the first I have ever heard of him, but he’s funny. In fact let me share with you some of his, more serious, words of wisdom.
“I encourage everybody to write. Share yourself with the world. If there is one thing I like to impress upon people, it’s that you can do it, even if you can’t. Just keep can’ting until eventually you can. And you can quote me on that.” Jarod Kintz**
When you say that you think about what you want to do ahead of time at the meeting, do you have an agenda for the meeting? That’s what you would do at work. I can imagine difficulties, if you show up with different goals for the meeting. Say, one of you is talking about schedules for the week and the other is talking long term goals.
Yes there is a rough agenda. Much of what we discuss is short-term. The practicalities of day to day life. Other stuff (general ideas for holidays, home-improvements, Christmas dinner!) gets discussed in the car, sitting in the sofa with a bottle of wine – when we have time to kill – that kind of thing. The 30-mins is really a weekly planning meeting so we all know who’s doing what!
When you say that you think about what you want to do ahead of time at the meeting, do you have an agenda for the meeting? That’s what you would do at work. I can imagine difficulties, if you show up with different goals for the meeting. Say, one of you is talking about schedules for the week and the other is talking long term goals.
Yes there is a rough agenda. Much of what we discuss is short-term. The practicalities of day to day life. Other stuff (general ideas for holidays, home-improvements, Christmas dinner!) gets discussed in the car, sitting in the sofa with a bottle of wine – when we have time to kill – that kind of thing. The 30-mins is really a weekly planning meeting so we all know who’s doing what!
When my husband was working 70 hour weeks (yes, really) people were always amazed that we knew what was going on in each others’ lives. Since things like meetings were frequently scheduled at the last minute, we communicated appointments, etc. via notes left at each other’s place at the kitchen table. And we used the small amount of free time we had together to talk, instead of scheduling. Worked for us, but as always, every family has to figure out what works for them. You are smart to find a method and use it to keep the stress to a minimum!
Hi Jo – We also do the note thing! Most morning’s I wake to a note – guess where? Above the fridge – my stomping ground. As you say, what works for you.
When my husband was working 70 hour weeks (yes, really) people were always amazed that we knew what was going on in each others’ lives. Since things like meetings were frequently scheduled at the last minute, we communicated appointments, etc. via notes left at each other’s place at the kitchen table. And we used the small amount of free time we had together to talk, instead of scheduling. Worked for us, but as always, every family has to figure out what works for them. You are smart to find a method and use it to keep the stress to a minimum!
Hi Jo – We also do the note thing! Most morning’s I wake to a note – guess where? Above the fridge – my stomping ground. As you say, what works for you.
Brilliant concept! Setting aside a specific time each week (and sticking to it) to talk about finances, schedules and all the ‘not-so-pleasant-formalities’ in a relationship can free us up from nagging/feeling nagged. 🙂
Thanks Laura – we like it. It also means as the week progresses and I jot a reminder down for myself I can tick it all off in one go rather than trying to remember what I need to check/ask daily!
Brilliant concept! Setting aside a specific time each week (and sticking to it) to talk about finances, schedules and all the ‘not-so-pleasant-formalities’ in a relationship can free us up from nagging/feeling nagged. 🙂
Thanks Laura – we like it. It also means as the week progresses and I jot a reminder down for myself I can tick it all off in one go rather than trying to remember what I need to check/ask daily!
It does seem to work well for you. Since our household is now down to just the two of us and neither of us are working outside we now hold a 30 minute meeting once a month to catch up on the budget. When we had kids at home we had informal meetings but we could have benefited from doing them more routinely and a bit more formally. Good for you!
It does seem to work well for you. Since our household is now down to just the two of us and neither of us are working outside we now hold a 30 minute meeting once a month to catch up on the budget. When we had kids at home we had informal meetings but we could have benefited from doing them more routinely and a bit more formally. Good for you!
My parent’s love ‘family meeting’s but us kids are usually included for the holiday destination discussion (less and less so now the youngest is 22! but it still happens sometimes). We also meet to talk about mum or dad job changes. as to other business, well I’m not convinced my parents are ideal with bill paying etc sorts of tasks, but it all gets done in the end :p
My parent’s love ‘family meeting’s but us kids are usually included for the holiday destination discussion (less and less so now the youngest is 22! but it still happens sometimes). We also meet to talk about mum or dad job changes. as to other business, well I’m not convinced my parents are ideal with bill paying etc sorts of tasks, but it all gets done in the end :p