A recurrent theme throughout my life has been inability to act due to simply not knowing where to start.
Or not starting something because I feel overwhelmed with the amount to do. Translation – again not knowing where to start.
This is a subject I’ve posted about before – although not quite the same theme – it was something very similar. Remember ‘Just Do It’?
Currently I cannot counter argue that I do not have time. Time is one thing I do have. My mobility however is lacking, so anything physical is taking twice as long to do. Decluttering closets and cupboards is a no-no.
Could there be a better time to crack on with all those sitting down admin jobs I have left hanging around? Those seemingly simple tasks that in reality are mentally weighing me down with the sheer volume of itsy-bitsy things to get ticked off my growing to-do list.
Propping my crutches up against the desk, there is no reason why I cannot crack open a box-file full of paperwork resulting from my Father passing away.
I did get all the absolutely necessary things done, that I had to do, immediately. I had a very clear deadline. Christmas shut-down was looming. I felt a little like Jack Bauer, boy was I against the clock on the 23 December. So much so I could actually hear the countdown from ’24’ ringing in my ears.
The Christmas came, and went. Fortunately last December I decided to take Christmas off.
January saw back to school, a funeral and hip surgery.
But my excuses are starting to wear thin. I do have time to deal with my remaining, and constantly increasing, paperwork.
The delay is purely because I don’t know where to start. It isn’t because I don’t feel up to it either physically, due to surgery, or emotionally. It’s simply not knowing where to start.
Now I’m old, and ugly, enough to know when inertia sets in, motion is the best remedy.
I could sketch out my plan of attack. I’m a fan of planning. It does work.
But in some circumstances, planning can purely be another delay tactic.
“I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung.” (Source: Rabindranath Tagore 1861-1941 Indian Poet & Philosopher)
I do know where to start.
The box gets opened and I take out the first sheet of paper. It gets dealt with as far as it can. Anything outstanding is written on a post-it note and stuck on top of it.
Then, I go to the next piece of paper and repeat.
Then in 2 to 3 days I repeat the process. Eventually it gets done. Slowly and surely.
“It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop.” Confucius